Sweat-Pant-Society | Life Lessons for the Lazy

On Fathers

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Young SweatPant & my dad circa 1989

“What a wonderful thing it is that drop of seed, from which we are produced, bears in itself the impressions, not only of the bodily shape, but of the thoughts and inclinations of our fathers”

I would like to take the time out today to show my respect to all the fathers of the world including my own. A father plays an important role in the life of his child helping to rear, educate, and influence their off-spring. I once read that mothers provide their child with self-confidence through their nurturing while fathers help in shaping and giving direction to this newly formed self-confidence I can agree with that. We live in a society today were less than 50% of children live in a traditional household now I’m not going to get into alternative styles of living based on religion, sexual orientation, or personal ideology that’s a deeper conversation. The position of influence a father has on his child cannot be understated and that is a default position given to the father at birth, the mother’s baby father’s maybe is a detrimental state for society there is a difference between siring a child and being a father.

On this father’s day I hope the father’s that find joy, love, adventure in raising their children continue to reap the rewards for their hard work and dedication and those men that have not put in the time, effort, and understanding to know why they even put themselves in the position to become a father take a step closer to learning that for their children and society at large.

SweatPant out…

Jun.19

On Sport & Play

Posted by sweatPant in Life Lessons

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“The game of history is usually played by the best and the worst over the heads of the majority in the middle.”

For those who do not follow professional basketball the NBA finals are currently underway. The Cleveland Cavaliers are facing off against the Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last years finals in which the Warriors took the championship that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

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Ayesha Curry is currently in hot water for serious of tweets espousing the fact that the games are rigged. Some of you may not be as deep of a conspiracy nut as uncle SweatPant and names such as Tim Donaghy may not ring a bell but please humor yourselves. This is not the first time a claim such as this has been made but it is for a person in the position Ayesha is in as the wife of the current NBA mvp and overall media darling she has been up until this point. The NBA and it’s collaborators such as ESPN and other sports outlets took no time in dragging Ayesha for filth due to her now rescinded claims (she deleted the tweets) and championing the transparency of the game and it’s officiating.

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Now let’s keep it real, the average NBA team is worth 1.25 Billion dollars now that doesn’t automatically allude to foul play but the propensity for foul play is amplified the more you have to lose. Cheating in all levels of sports is as American as Pete Rose and the higher you go the more likely you are to find it. I’m not going full Alex Jones here but sport and play hold a high status in all modern societies for good reason it allows people to escape from the mundanities of their lives and gives them the rush and exhilaration of watching well oiled machines perform at the top level in their respective sports. It also acts as a sedative in that manner as well being used as a tool to occupy peoples time, aspirations, and emotions isn’t it interesting that when we were kids and the “adults” had to have a serious conversation they would send us out to play as to not disturb them. The lengths these players and their respective teams go to is par for the course ask Nesta Carter.

Now to take off the tin-foil hat and level with you. If you think there is no foul-play at the elite level of sports then the bad guy losses at life, sociopaths are not in the upper echelons of our society, and Donald Trump will not be the Republican nominee for President as he has no I repeat no political experience. Hmmmmmm

SweatPant out…

Jun.18

On Internet Affliction

Posted by sweatPant in Health

Photo curtesy of Michael Nagle for The New York Times

“Google me bitch!!!”

If you haven’t heard Snapchat is that shit from girls crashing their dads car to booty pics for the cost of entry if you’re not in it your missing out. Our new internet driven world poses a litany of questions with too few answers. There have been various studies either substantiating or denying mental health based issues formulating due to social media use but let’s be frank if social media is the real world based in the internet we can all agree to the fact that on some level people can and will be affected by it including the normal hate for hates sake, keeping up with the jones’s, and holier than though views many of us hold.

Photo by Paul hardy

We all have had friend requests in our various social media accounts asking for “friendship” from total strangers and faced the question of accepting it. Many people see this as doing something right and growing their social media following I ask for what? is social media a 24hr floor model showcase of our lives for others to buy into us in the form of following our feed. We have seen many people rise to prominence solely based on their savvy social media skills those people for the most part had a vision and enacted their plan to get themselves to the end result. The average layperson who posts their struggle meals and horrible fashion sense are they actively trying to position themselves in the realm of say a Chrissy Teigen or Ian Connor two well known people in the aforementioned realms Tiegen with her recently published cookbook and Connor taking tumblr fame to the runway with Kanye West.

Some people may say SweatPant what are you talking about social media is putting people onto how dope you are and garnering fans i.e (friends/followers) I would agree I ask what is the end game if one exists. Philip Zimbardo speaks of the “future focus” in life and the different way we look at life and how that outlook plays into our choices. Radiohead recently took time out to erase themselves from the internet before announcing their new album but that’s Radiohead not you or me years ago people spoke of bad choices with tattoos or picking bad partners will the next phase be bad choices on social media maybe that off the cuff tweet may cost you your job.

SweatPant out…

Philip Zimbardo – The Psychology of time

Jun.18

On Fake Booties

Posted by sweatPant in Health

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“Brenda got a big ole butt”

We have reached ass overload booty is currently king and the emperor wears no clothes. Gone are the days in which you could research the female derrière on assmatrix.com and use your new found knowledge to proclaim yourself an ass aficionado from the apple-bottom to the spongebob you knew them all. Butt augmentation was and still is a rather expensive procedure with prices starting in the $4,000 range although a black market has risen to fill the void for those in need of an ass without the cash.

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Oneal Ron Morris is currently facing up to 100 years for manslaughter after a botched underground ass procedure a young woman dead and him hiding from the law. His ass injections included super glue, fix-a-flat, and cement. Many women go under the knife in these underground procedures and end up with complications far worse than they bargained for. In popular culture today having an ass whether real or fake is a conversation starter, career builder, and door opener, even actress Blake Lively took to instagram to parade her L.A Face and Oakland booty. A tour of tumblr or instagram one can be served up with so much booty meat a need for an apéritif would be in order with all races, shades and colors showing off their goodies whether natural or man made.

Like with all trends the hype behind the fat ass will eventually die down and the culture will move to a new body part to glorify for the next 5-7 years I heard women’s ankles were all the rage in the 1920’s maybe that’s due for a comeback? in all seriousness between the trips to D.R for all inclusive ass surgery, backdoor injections, and traditional methods I’m all for ladies wanting to spruce up their caboose but ladies please be safe no matter if you got a fatty or a flattie trust me there will be guys who still dig you.

SweatPant out…

Jun.17

On Eating Ass

Posted by sweatPant in Life Lessons

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“But he gotta eat the booty like groceries”

People want to know my opinion on booty eating, well if ya eat booty you’re a shit talker.

email me your questions heysweatpant@gmail.com

SweatPant out…

Jun.16

On Happiness

Posted by sweatPant in Life Lessons

“The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness”

Walk through any book store or search in your favorite search engine and you will be inundated with ways to get “happy” but do these healthy tips really help. The declaration of independence declared are right to pursue our happiness so what the hell happened? Listen to old SweatPant and I’ll tell you what.

The United States ranked 15th on a list of countries happiness with factors such as social support, gdp per capita, and life expectancy all playing a major role. In a nation with high return in all these areas why would Americans overall be less happier than our Canadian cousins to the north? there is a myriad of reasons but today I will explore one excess. In America there never really is a cap on what you can do or explore in any arena, we are very by the book and tend to look at things threw a linear lens college+degree=job=marriage=happy when of course it’s not that clear cut. Bret Ford of the university of California, Berkley conducted a study showing the pursuit of happiness leading to less happiness for Americans due to our cultural view of happiness. I’m not trying to say we Americans can’t get/be happy but damn it’s hard with social norms being more closed off and many of us taking a nimby(not in my brain yuppie) attitude we move further and further from what the study showed to have a positive impact on happiness via culture social relationships.

It all boils down to a person taking self stock and assessment if you aren’t happy find out what is keeping you from that social norms be damned do your own thing just trust me on that one. The last thing you want to do is live your life amongst a whole bunch of miserable people and get the worst hit of all finding out you’re just as miserable as they are

SweatPant out…

Jun.16

On Substance Abuse

Posted by sweatPant in Health

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“Another day another lean seizure”

America has to admit we don’t have a drug problem we live in a drug culture. The National Institute on Drug Abuse has recorded prescription drug deaths in 2014 at nearly 3 times those in 2001 which is startling especially with the recent passing of Prince. Lil Wayne has recently suffered his fourth publicly known seizure since 2012 with many speculating on the cause being his lean consumption. There is currently over 4,000,000 results on youtube for videos on “how to make lean” a mixture of prescription strength cough syrup and your favorite soda or pop for all you mid-westerners and coke for the southern gentry.

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We have to admit we like drugs in America nothing has changed since Ronald Reagan declared war on drugs in 1971. The government has steadily increased spending on the prosecution of drug crimes, drug rehabilitation, and drug use prevention but the situation has not changed. Is this an issue of cognitive dissonance as a nation, are we so bitch made we don’t want to embrace the fact that in a nation were we rank the top party colleges we also like to use party drugs?

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I started this post documenting different people in entertainment that have faced issues including death from drug use and abuse but quickly had to change the narrative because this “issue” isn’t isolated to our entertainers the sports players, actors, musicians are a product of our society they didn’t come here from Mars to steal our hearts and use our drugs we birthed them, groomed them, sent them off to school, and yes we also introduced them to drugs. A hand is only as strong as it’s weakest digit and a nation it’s populace. So let’s keep it real and admit who we are America

P.S RIP Mitch Hedberg

SweatPant out…

Jun.16