On Nice guys™
“That’s lame, but it’s a shame how I fell for the game” – Big L
In the modern age whether you are a nice guy™ or a genuinely nice person who happens to be a guy you run the risk of setting yourself for failure when interacting with women. For those unfamiliar with nice guy™ it is a designation often used for men who act nice purely out of necessity as a means to an end when interacting with women. This can be confusing without nuance so uncle SweatPant has taken it upon himself to give you three types of “nice guys” but keep in mind there are no nice guys only nice deeds and actions performed by people.
Type 1- A person who does nice things because he wants to, confident and knows his self-worth. This nice guy says yes when can and no when he has to and has no qualms walking away from a situation he finds to be detrimental to his physical or mental health.
Type 2- A person who does nice things with the explicit purpose of brown nosing and racking up nice points to cash in later. This nice guy is manipulative, can’t say no and can become very distraught when he isn’t rewarded or given what he feels he is owed due to his actions. Like a stray puppy he will linger around until he has either accepted or chased away
Type 3- A person who is somewhat of a mix of the aforementioned types. This nice guy is creature of circumstance, he lives in the precarious environment of a finalized relationship you know the guy who got dumped but still entertains his ex because he cares for her and wants her to be happy. This nice guy is confident but hasn’t completely found or embraced his “it”, the quality the thing that keeps past women in his life lingering around. The unfortunate ballad of this nice guy is that when most women speak of “nice guys” they are speaking of him. He is the guy who they call when they need a pep talk or to be cheered on, who can come over in the middle of the night hit it and stay the weekend without issue, who you can still go on dates with even though you broke up three months ago and have no plans on getting back together.
As humans, we are prone to groups and with that comes self-identification as well as social distinction. We all give ourselves attributes “I am a writer” as well as society and people in our social group giving them to us “look at her hair she is a Rasta”. With that human need for identity we open up the flood gates to misidentification not only from outside forces but from ourselves as well how do we truly know if we are a nice person or considerate without studying ourselves and our actions? Most of the things we do is automatic purely from muscle memory due to conditioning and without analysis we can find be completing actions we truly do not want to. In the end do not be the person people call a nice guy be yourself, invest in those that invest in you and do not entertain things you find disinteresting. Embodying these types’ characteristics will bestow you with many titles but none will matter, as you were just being you.
SweatPant Out….